My Little Darlin, PT day 67, by David

Day 3 back in Starkville

It is back to me (David) tonight.  My Little Darlin is conked out.  We had a busy day.  Got her up a little before 5 am.  A very good old friend of ours who is also our dentist in Jackson saw Jan this morning.  We wanted to get an early start because we did not know how much work was needed.  She got a temporary crown on the incisor that was knocked out.  Jan says she now looks less gooby.  Also found out the reason one of her molars was hurting was that it had a couple of cracks from the trauma.  She will get a root canal on this next week.  After eating lunch (where we incidentally ran into my sister who does not live in the Jackson area either) we drove back to Starkville at a leisurely speed on the Natchez trace.  Saw only one cyclist on a time trial bike and she did not have bright clothing on!  It sure was a nice drive having my sweetness with me.  Went to Lowes to get some more safety items for the house and then by Boardtown Bikes for a few minutes.  The shop looked great.  Kevin and David have done a great job keeping it going the past two months.  Those two guys are A-one.  We came home and one of our granddaughters was here so Jan visited with her for a while.  I tell you this mundane boring stuff because it sounds kind of like a normal day(TIGT).  The good thing is Jan was up and walking through the day, still with me there for support and bailout if needed, but I think she is getting stronger every day.  Every place we went all day long I  asked her various questions to keep her mind moving and improving along with her body.  They were all simple questions to prod her short term memory or questions that were meant to get her to develop short organized plans.  Her short term and executive cognition also seem to be improving.  She does tire easily but her endurance is also improving.  We do expect rapid gains over the next six months.

I have said this many times before and will say it many more times, do not forget what happened to My Little Darlin.  She has had a very rough road.  She is one of the fortunate ones particularly given that she is still here.  She is also doing incredibly well, better than expected given what was done to her.  She clearly has lingering problems some of which may at least partially be with her for the rest of her life.  This act that was done to her was completely avoidable.  I think there should be a harsh penalty for what was done to her but Mississippi law does not agree.  Yes this is an emotional response.  I had a very graphic reminder of the brutality of what happened to Jan when I saw her bicycle for the first time today.  I do not think dropping it from a twenty story building would have done that kind of damage and My Little Darlin was on it.  It still hurts to think about.  She still has healing road rash all over, dark blue old blood under the fingernails like when you smash your finger with a hammer.  She has bad back pain every time she sits up.  Not to mention the problems from her brain injury.  Laws must be fixed.  The 3 foot law must be given some teeth.  A distracted driver law needs to be in place.  If someone thinks using their cell phone while operating a 2 ton piece of steel is more important than someones life then they should pay dearly for that selfish, stupid and egotistical action.  Others will be severely injured and killed because of cell phone use while driving.  Bicyclist and runners/pedestrians do your job.  Know your rules, be very visible and watch the traffic.  Interestingly today in Jackson on a very busy county line road Jan and I saw a guy riding a bike in the wrong lane, against traffic, no helmet, no hands on the handle bar and talking on a cell phone.  You can not fix stupid!  Your life as you know it can depend on doing the right thing whether you are driving the vehicle, riding the bike or running/walking.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin,
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 66 - From Jan

Day 2 back in Starkville.

We've been home at little over 24 hours.  It's awesome!!  My amazing husband is scurrying about trying to staighten things up to make the house "safe" for me... but he still won't allow me to do anything by myself!!

We made a trip to Wal-Mart today and I actually walked around the store pushing a cart!!  Woo-hoo!!!

Tomorrow we are heading to Jackson to my dentist down there.  I knocked a front tooth out in the incident and injured another one.  NOT looking forward to a long day at the dentist...

So many of you have sent cards, flowers, prayers, posts, good food and good wishes.  Well... something has WORKED!  I am so much better, and know I am on my way to a full recovery... no matter how long it takes.

Please continue to be there for David.  He will need you all now... I'm sure I'm a LOT of trouble!

Love to you all,

Jan

My Little Darlin, PT day 65, by David

Day 1, back in Mississippi

We made it home to Starkville today.  My little darlin made the trip in a normal vehicle (that is a pick up truck for those of you not familiar with what a normal vehicle is).  The only vehicles she has riden in since being rudely removed from her bicycle was ambulance to West Point, Helicopter to Tupelo and ambulence to Atlanta.  She did great today.  It was almost like old times, I drove, she rode, slept and snored.  That put a smile on my face to have her with me.  We stopped by Baptist Hospital in Columbus where I practice to see everybody.  Jan liked seeing them as much as they liked seeing her. Ditto for me.  Everybody knows the hard rode she has traveled and I think it is good for all to see her up and about.  Getting home is very nice but it does bring to the forefront realworld responsibilities that have been put off for two months although unavoidable.   First thing that has to be done is to make it as safe as possible for Jan.  As I mentioned she is still unsteady on her feet and is only allowed to stand or walk with my hand on her.  I must get grab bars put up in the shower and toilets.  I have nightmares about the possibility of her losing her balance, falling and reinjuring herself.  Our house is extremely cluttered.  This along with our numerous lovable and friendly dogs also make for potential hazards.  I have started working on the clutter.  The dogs, lets just say if Jan were made to choose who stayed, I would get the dog house.  I like them too though so we will just have to be careful.  Thankfully we did not need to worry about eating tonight, some of our good friends sent us a great meal.  It was GUD.  Lots of old mail.  I have been able to keep up pretty well with bills while away thanks to the computer and getting them brought or sent to me but there is still a lot coming in.  This includes the medical bills.  Never knew how confusing they could be.  I have no mind for business or accounting and have no idea exactly what I am supposed to pay when I look at these versus what insurance will pay or when.  I get the feeling the insurance companies play a game with the hospitals, physicians and patients but hopefully a few phone calls will sort this out.  Taking Jan to have her vision checked tomorrow,  she says it is not right since the injury.  No surprise there.  On thursday going to have a dental evaluation.  For those that do not know, her L front upper incisor was knocked out.  Our four year old granddaughter likes it because Mi-mama looks like her.  Jan also has pain in another tooth and we suspect it was cracked with the injury.  Next week we will go to the Quest program and let them figure out what her therapy schedule will be.  I am hoping to get back to work soon.  The primary limiting factor will be Jan's therapy days in Jackson and making sure someone can be with her 24/7.  Preliminary expectation for therapy will be three days per week but could be more.  This will free me up to cover on the weekends but I can't leave Jan alone yet so will either have to take her with me when I go in to the hospital or get someone to stay with her.  Sean my stepson is living with us now.  He moved in while we were off to take care of the house and dogs since we did not know how long we would be away.  He will definitely be an asset while he is here.   The expectation is that Jan will continue to have rapid improvement over the next few months but we are also told she will continue to have some improvement for years to come.  Brain injuries suck but she is doing great for what happened to her (TIGT)

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin,  It is good to be home
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 64, by David

Day 28 at Shepherd

Today was the last day of therapy here at Shepherd.  Home tomorrow morning(TIGT).  We talked with the Neuropsychologist as well as physical, occupational and speech therapists.   Some of the primary deficits that Jan has and will need continued therapy for are her short term memory loss, executive level cognitive function, organization skills and delayed response.  These will get better with time and therapy.  Due to these limitations and her still being unstable with walking and transfers she will need to have someone nearby 24/7 for a while for her safety.  In an overstimulation situation she can become very anxious.  Too much outside input potentially makes it difficult for her to concentrate on the required task.  What we take as second nature can be difficult for her to process.  An example may be concentrating on stepping off a curb but forgetting there may be traffic coming.  Her walking is getting stronger but she does not go anywhere even to the bathroom or standing for that matter without me at her side.  She would have a very hard time keeping herself from falling if she stumbles and we certainly do not want to have to come back to Shepherd as a repeat customer.  We did a lot of walking including her walking to the parking garage, getting up into my pick up, riding to the grocery store, shopping (she got peanut M&M s and cokes for the staff) and rode back.  This was part of her planned therapy.  She also walked up and down a flight of stairs. This all sounds simple but from where she has come from this is all huge.   Her therapists are all extremely pleased with her progress and fully expect her to progress rapidly over the next six months.  She and I are able to laugh with each other a lot (TIGT) despite what we have gone through.  She also does cry a lot these days having a lot of fear for what bad might happen to her or those close to her(who can blame her),  she says she wants to stay home, cocoon and stay safe.  I guess the woman who did this to her not only almost took her life, gave her the injuries she is trying to overcome, affected all of us close to her but also suppressed Jan's sense of adventure, at least for now.  There are a lot of people that do nothing to contribute to the good of society but do an awful lot to suck from it.  Based on my limited experience of our laws, the law seems to enable this type of behavior.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin,  we are looking forward to the MMRC Quest program.
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 63, by Jan

Day 27 @ Shepherd.

Being Discharged from Shepherd Center (Atlanta) Tuesday and heading back to Starville!!

I will still require a lot of outpatient therapy, but can get that in Jackson at the Methodist Rehab Center in their "Quest" program.  We have heard some very good things about it.  It will be 3 - 4 days a week and we can stay with my son Derek and his family while we are in Jackson.

I am getting better every day and the staff here tells me how great I'm doing!!

I want to thank all of you who have sent cards, flowers, baskets, prayers and good wishes.  I have been told that many of you came by to visit me in the hospital… some of you I didn't even know… Thank you.

I especially want to thank my husband's partners… Mark and Robbie… who allowed him to be off work to be with me throughout this ordeal.

And finally, want to thank my fantastic husband, David.  He has stayed by my side the entire time.  He held me when I cried, got up at night with me when I felt so iil.  He is so faithful and dedicated… and I love him more than I can say.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN


I can't way to see you all again.

Jan

My Little Darlin, PT day 62, by David

Day 26 at Shepherd.  My Little Darlin has been told everything that was done to her and what she has gone through the past 62 days.  What upsets her the most is when she thinks about what I was going through.  Man I love that woman, concerned about me when she went through what she did.  Occasionally she expresses some fear of having some type of set back.  I have told her how critically injured she was.  I suspect this would be part of a post traumatic stress.  She does express anger towards the person that did this to her(us).  We do not know if there is any remorse on the woman's part or if she learned anything from her actions.  We certainly have not heard from her.  I have wondered if she still drives and uses a cell phone at the same time.   No matter My Little Darlin is doing remarkably well and we are excited about Tuesday.  Jan had a good day today.  She is getting stronger.  Today at her insistence we went for several relatively long walks on the unit.  Last week I had to strongly encourage her to do a few short walks.  The dizziness is much improved if not resolved.  She still has back pain from her fracture when she is up for a while but that is relieved with tylenol.  Her appetite is much better.  She rarely says anything tastes "nasty" anymore.  She is doing great with the toilet dash training.  My shoes are staying dry.  Our friend Kim who was with her when she was hit came by today.  I got the feeling Kim was surprised when she saw how good Jan was doing.  She said if you did not know her you would not know she had been injured.  They had a good visit.   I think it did them both good to see each other.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, home is where the heart is.
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 61, by David

Day 25 at Shepherd.  As you all saw by last nights post done by Jan she is doing very well.  I can see small daily improvements in her balance and gait while walking.  She does have some difficulty with short term memory but I think this will all improve over time.  I keep telling her over and over that before she was injured that she loved to cook, clean house and was overall very domestic.  She is not buying it.  Her long term memory was not affected.  Oh well it was worth a try.  We now have definite plans for the next phase of this adventure.  We are coming home.  On tuesday she is being discharged from Shepherd.  While Shepherd has a great outpatient program that I discussed previously there is also a similar program offered by Mississippi Methodist Rehab Center in Jackson called Quest.  She has appointments scheduled for August 2nd and 4th.  They will work with her so that she will someday be able to return to work in our bicycle shop Boardtown Bikes in Starkville.  We are very excited about going there.  Not only will Jan get excellent outpatient therapy but we have family near the outpatient center in Flowood and we can be home in Starkville on the weekends.  This will allow me to get back to work and at least give my partners weekend relief and hopefully soon full relief so they can have some well earned time off. TIGT.  While things are not going to be back to normal yet we are headed that way and are very excited about heading home after this two month plus ordeal,  especially with Jan doing as well as she is particularly when you consider where she was at the start of this.

Our roller coaster ride is starting to smooth out but there are still people out there trying to be healthy or just trying to get from one place to another that are in peril because someone is distracted, a driver is unaware the danger their automobile poses to someone not in an automobile, a driver does not see a cyclist or pedestrian as a life or even worse the driver has poorly explained anger.  The cyclist or pedestrian could also be placing themselves at increased risk due to not abiding by their own rules or not making themselves adequately visible.  We must stay vigilant.  What happened to Jan has and will happen to others.  We have to keep pushing and making as many as we can aware.  Seeing someone biking, running or walking on the road should become an accepted norm to all.  I will say again it should not be about the law (although that is the only way some will listen), it should be about that being a life.  It is someones wife, husband, son, daughter, friend or parent.  To think the person you are closest to is not going to survive or is going to be severely impaired because of a senseless act is something no one should have to experience.  Unfortunately I am speaking from experience.  Do not forget this and do not let anyone you know forget this so that you do not have to have this experience.  We must push to get the 3 foot law amended.  We must push for laws against distracted drivers.   If you are a cyclist you should also make sure you do the right thing, know your rules and be visible.

An added note.  Texas Governor Rick Perry who is also a presidential candidate recently vetoed Texas house bill 242 relating to texting while driving.  The reason given is that it was a government effort to micromanage the behavior of adults.  I hate big government as much as anybody.  I would be perfectly happy if I could be given the liberty to deal with what was done to me or my family without government interference.  I do not have that liberty so I expect this very expensive and inefficient government to take care of that (it did fail my wife).  Cell phone use while driving is killing people and is like drunk driving.  He may as well allow drunk driving.   He will not get my vote for president.

Thank you all.  Drivers watch for bikers and pedestrians.   Bikers and pedestrians watch for drivers.  All should know the rules and abide by them.  Be patient with each other.  No matter who is at fault if someone is severely injured or killed it drastically affects many and in a very bad way.   Everyone please do whatever you can to not let something like this happen.  Life is for doing stuff but not this.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, home is where the heart is.
David

My Little Darin, PT DAY 60. BY JAN

Day 24 at Shepherd.

Hi everyone.  Jan here!!

Saul Raisin  stopped by my room today to visit with David and me.  What a nice surprise!!  For those of you not familiar with Saul, he was a professional bike racer who crashed in 2006.  He sustained severe brain injury and came here to Shepherd for rehab.  He had great things to say and was really an inspiration to both os us.  One important thing he said was that the hard part of recovery was still ahead of me.  It will take a LONG time to recover.  After 5 years he feels he has gotten much better,  and that I will be able to see a difference at 6 months, one year, two years, etc.  The hardest part is waiting and accepting my condition.  He's right.  I want to be fully recovered right NOW!!   I used to be so smart, and had no limitations.  Right now I have trouble solving logic problems and walking.  He suggested that I ask all of you to help by pointing out to me when my behavior seems out of character.  Now, let me just say that cursing out nurses is NOT unusual behavior for me… Merely a good way to make enemies.

Love to you all.

Jan

My Little Darlin, PT day 59, by David

Day 23 at Shepherd.  Jan continues to do well.  The dizziness with nausea is still doing pretty good since yesterday morning's bad episode.  This morning she walked to the central area for breakfast.  Her walking is limited and she is too unsteady to walk without someone's hand on a support belt incase she falls but she is still doing it on her own power.  I like to pick on her about her grandma shuffle walk.  She can laugh at herself about it.  She says this is especially funny when we do the team toilet dash.  I still get a kick (and start getting nervous for my shoes) when she starts trying to drop those drawers before she reaches the toilet.  When she says she has gotta go she means it.  She had several therapy sessions and during a 30 minute break had me get her up early soother was no wasted time for her next session.  She was supposed to be taken to the grocery store today as part of her therapy.  I was waiting in the room when she came rolling in in her wheel chair crying her little eyes out.  The grocery store thing did not go well.  They were taking several patients.  It was hot.  Jan was loaded first and she with her wheel chair were locked in place.  The heat and anxiety was a bit much for her and she could not do it making them get her out.  She was brought back to the floor but had some difficulty with finding the room on her on which added to her anxiety.  We talked with the therapist and will try again but this time will do it in my vehicle and I will help.  I will have the a/c going full blast too.  I met with her attending today and her case manager.  She will be discharged from inpatient setting on tuesday.  Shepherd has an intense outpatient program called pathways.  Jan and I would stay in the same housing I have been in here at the center.  The pathways center is a few miles from here and I would drive Jan there each day during the week.  We can come home on weekends.  There would be five hours of therapy each day.  I am unaware of anything similar in Mississippi.  There are outpatient centers that could offer therapy but I am not aware of any that are to this extent.  The case manager will confirm this.  I do want Jan to have the best she can get.   This would likely be the very best option for Jan's maximal recovery.  Jan is considering this but i am not sure if she will go for it.    I do not think she is completely aware of what her limitations are at this point but her physician was impressed with the insight Jan had when I told her that Jan said she did feel she needed more therapy.  She told me tonight that if she gets all this therapy we are talking about that everybody back home will expect her to be normal.  She says she is a goob right now.  I think she is beautiful.  There are other issues besides what Jan is going through that I can not ignore.  This is life.  I suspect similar thoughts must go through others minds who are or have been in a similar situation.  Costs for one.  This whole ordeal is very expensive (but the results have been priceless).  Insurance will not cover it all.  Many have commented about the liability of the person that did this.  If they have nothing then they have no liability in this state / country.  You can not get blood from a turnip.  Jan and I have worked hard all of our lives and have been fortunate.  We will survive this financially.  I do not know how most are able to afford the expense of something like this and there are many here who are much worse than Jan(we are unbelievably fortunate in this regard).  We have been away from home for a long time and miss it.  Jan has made no bones about it she wants to go home(I do too but will do what is necessary for Jan).  I have two wonderful partners that have worked their ass off covering me and let me know being here with Jan is where I need to be.  I will forever be grateful to them.  My conscience bothers me tremendously the longer I am away.  So long as I can work I know I can take care of Jan, but I also need to be with her to take care of her (and she needs me now more than ever).  What a conundrum.   Nothing about any of this has been easy but seeing my little darlin improve daily makes it tolerable.  We are going to make it, this phase is almost over.  Everyday we are one day closer to normal (TIGT).

Thank you all.  Drivers watch for bikers and pedestrians.   Bikers and pedestrians watch for drivers.  All should know the rules and abide by them.  Be patient with each other.  No matter who is at fault if someone is severely injured or killed it drastically affects many and in a very bad way.   Everyone please do whatever you can to not let something like this happen.  Life is for doing stuff but not this.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, 
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 58 by David

Day 22 at Shepherd.  Jan woke up very early this morning not feeling well at all.  As I have talked about, her primary limiting factor has been what she describes as dizziness.  We have had difficulty trying to determine what is causing this with possible causes being orthostatic hypotension, drug related or related to her injury.  It was bothering her worse than it had been since she has been aware enough to tell us what she was feeling.  She would not get out of bed for fear of worsening the sensation. There some associated nausea.  I was concerned not only for how poorly she felt but that she was going to miss a day of valuable therapy and of course why was she feeling this way.  I did a tilt test on her first thing and there was nothing to suggest this was orthostatic hypotension (related to blood pressure drop).  Her attending physician came in and thought it could be vestibular related to the trauma and had planned to have the therapist help her with this.  I talked to an ENT friend of mine about this.  He said it could be central (brain) or peripheral and the therapy was the best next step.  Thanks Walter, your input is much appreciated.   She also had the nurse give Jan something for the nausea and about 30 minutes later Jan seemed to feel better than she had since she got here.  She subsequently had a great day of therapy.  Her physician also had the pharmacy review her meds to see if their were any combinations that may be contributing to the problem and one possibility was found and that med has been discontinued.  If we can get this "dizziness" under control then I think physically she will continue to rapidly improve.  More specifically improve her mobility.  She is very sharp mentally considering what has happened to her.  She has some short term memory/orientation problems such as what she did earlier the same day but with questioning she will recall this.  She can also confuse what she did today thinking she did it yesterday.  On one of the deduction test I talked about yesterday  she picked up a subtle error that I had not noticed.  By a series of written questions she had to determine which country went with which clue.  She could not get the last country.  When I gave her a suggestion she informed me that Africa is not a country but a continent, I would not have noticed that and would have placed Africa in the slot without question.  She tells me she walked down stairs with her therapist today.  She walked with me after dinner.  She still is very unsteady but continues to improve.  It was interesting watching her occupational therapist do some mental exercises with her today.  She gave her images that had 4 identical objects except one was the mirror image of the other three and all were in different orientations.  Jan had to pick out the mirror image.  Some were difficult and as she says making her think is hard.  While she was doing these she started physically getting hot from the mental work she was doing.   For her I suspect she will recover most of what she lost but it will take time.  Given where she was less than two weeks ago though if it were a race she would win.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, 
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 57 by David

Three weeks at Shepherd.  I think Jan shows subtle improvements every day.  This morning at her suggestion she walked (with walker and my support but it still counts) to the central area for breakfast.  After breakfast she did some more of the deduction problems and did well.   Her physical therapist had her walking without the walker today and she did well with that.  She still complains of dizziness.  Most of this is thought to be orthostasis (decrease blood pressure with lightheadedness when going from lower position to a higher position).  This does seem better and part of the sensation may be from medications she is on one of which was stopped this weekend(by Jan).  This sensation puts her in a difficult place.  The more she is upright and does the better she should get but the sensation keeps her from doing as much as we would like.  She is on two other meds that have been started since getting here that are used for attention deficit.  The attention deficit is apparently common in people with brain injury and Jan clearly began improving shortly after starting at least one of them.  She would stop all of her meds if it were up to her since she thinks the dizziness is med related and certainly can be.  I do not know yet how long it is recommended that she stay on these drugs.  I have a meeting with her treatment team on Wednesday.  Hope to get questions answered then of what are discharge criteria and when is updated expected discharge for Jan. Preliminary was Aug 9th.   Shepherd and Jan are well aware that our insurance will pay for 30 days which is up on the 26th.  It is not cheap here and as bad as Jan wants to go home if I do not take her then it will not be pretty.  I feel like for her mental well being she will be much better served having her outpatient therapy done closer to home in Jackson where we have family.  Got to admit home sounds awful good to me too.  I have spoken with someone at one facility that offers the type of outpatient therapy that she needs and have had good recommendations on them.

My state Senator Gary Jackson gave me a call today.  He is in agreement with the amendment to the 3 foot law and I am very appreciative of that.  He and I also talked some about DA Allgood.  Mr Allgood apparently and not surprising given how heinous an act that was done to Jan, has gotten a lot of flack for his position on what happened.  I did not like it either but Mr Allgood was going by Mississippi law and he had no control on that but we do.  I do think if the law had allowed he would have pursued harsh penalties.  Our control is in letting our Senators and Representatives know what is important so I will say again if you have not contacted yours then do it regarding the 3 foot law amendment.  I would also like to see a distracted driver law at some point.  I suspect this will be a more difficult thing to accomplish from what i have been told but be aware the 3 foot law amendment is not a given so do not be complacent.  Unless there is a special session it will be brought up in January next year.

Thank you all again for your concern about Jan.  She says frequently with tears in her eyes how tired she is of being sick.  Her point of time reference is only about ten days since she became aware.  Ours is 8 long weeks and TIGT at how well she is doing since this happened.  She asked me today at what point did I feel like she was going to live.  I hope none of you are ever in a situation to hear or ask that.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, 
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 56 by David

Day 20 at Shepherd.  Jan had a good day today.  We were actually laughing quite a bit.  She did not cry nearly as much as yesterday.  The worst episode was tonight because she wants to go home so badly and I do too but she is not ready yet.  I am not sure but it did not seem as though she complained of the dizziness as much today either.  Mentally she is almost normal Jan.  Conversations are almost completely normal.  There are some cognitive difficulties that are being worked on. I was her therapist today and she did very well.  For cognitive exercises we did several what are best described as reading problems that involves mental deduction.  She would get frustrated at times but with minimal suggestions she did very well.  She got up and walked several times today.  A good friend sent us a note today that was great.  This note was along the line of HTFU that I had mentioned previously which by the way I have written in big letters in her room and have threatened to put a sticker on her walker with this.   The note said but with toned down language so as to not offend anyone

"anyone could get hit by a car going highway speed, get run over, fight for their life for weeks, and survive.  She's already checked all those boxes - big !%@$#ing  deal.  Now it is time to kick ass, take names and do something challenging for a change.  So, own everyone of those exercises, claim every opportunity to do the little bit extra, tell the nurses that they can't work her hard enough - that they are a bunch of !%@$#.  Then rub their !%@$#ing noses in how good she is doing!  HTFU!  Get well and come home.  We miss you."

Some may cringe at saying something like this to a "sick person" .  Jan has a sense of humor and has no problem laughing at her self.  She smiled when I read this to her but said it will be hard.  After she ate lunch I asked her what she wanted to do, she said it was a trick question and it was.  She said she wanted to walk (that answer made me proud) but no thinking because that was too hard.  She proceeded to walk further than I had seen her walk and did even more later on.  She also did several problems.  I had been picking on her about entering her in a grandma 50ft walker race.  She laughed at this but laughed hard and several times through the day spontaneously when she thought about me telling her I was entering us in a team toilet dash race.  Points off for missing the toilet and points added for hitting her partners shoes.

Don't get me wrong, this is very hard mentally, psychologically and physically for her and as I have said before she still has a long hard row to hoe (road to go?).  She is very unstable when standing,  hurts all over when she moves, has difficulty concentrating for long and some problem solving difficulty.  There are likely other problems that we have not discovered yet but she is far better than I would have dreamed 8 weeks ago and some day this will be a distant memory.

Do not forget why she is here.  Continue to spread the word for motorists to be responsible and aware of cyclists and pedestrians and not driving distracted.  The proposed three foot law amendment is a good thing but a very serious thing.   I do think share the road philosophy should be taught in drivers education and part of the licensing exam.  The motorist is not always at fault.   We as cyclists and pedestrians also must be responsible. We must know our rules, pay attention and make ourselves seen as much as possible.  I for one never ride on the road with music.  You need all of your senses to know what is happening around you.  Always (always!!!) wear your helmet.  I have told many people that I have seen buying a bicycle at Boardtown Bikes to wear a helmet or wear a diaper.  You can not imagine how real that statement is.  I do not have to imagine.  I am convinced Jan's helmet saved her life. 


SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, we could win the team toilet dash race!
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 55 by David

Day 19 at Shepherd.  Very little formal therapy for Jan today but I did a fair amount with her.  I had her up walking with her walker a couple of times today and had her do some problem solving.  She did not want to do any of it but did.  She is and has been having a very hard time with what she best describes as dizziness.  This I think is her primary limiting factor and is very much affecting her therapy and mood.  She is crying a large part of the time and dreads doing pretty much anything because of how she feels.  She cries frequently about being tired of being sick.  With what she has gone through and is going through she has good reason to feel this way and has good reason for depression.  She also frequently expresses her anger toward the person that did this to her.  I clearly understand this.  Not only is she experiencing the dizziness but she is hypersensitive to any discomfort.  Given the massive trauma this is not unexpected.  Ares of noticeable pain include her back (compression fx), hand (severe fracture) and peg (feeding tube through abdominal wall) site pain.  There are also the cognitive difficulties that she is well aware of.  All of these together I feel are compromising her progress but I have to wonder if these are necessary evils that we have to work through.  I do not think any of us can understand truly what she is experiencing.  I do think the dizziness is her biggest obstacle.  With brain injury this can be related to the middle ear but does not seem like typical vertigo.  Some may be related to orthostasis.  Her hypertension med has been stopped and her blood pressure remains good.  I did a tilt test on her today and her blood pressure did drop some but not to a significantly low level.  Jan is aware enough to realize her dizziness could be a side effect of some of her meds.  She wants to stop them all but I have talked her into doing one at a time.  We have to convince her docs of this but knowing my little wife they may not be given a choice.  She also wants her peg out.  The protocol here is for the patient to be eating consistently 75% of their meals.  Jan is not eating that much but she may not give them the option on this either.  Ironically she will periodically start crying for fear of the pain she is worried there may be when it is removed.  On my end it hurts me to watch the difficulties with what Jan is going through.  It is different from when she was critically ill in the ccu.    She asks repeatedly for me to do things for her that could undermine her treating physicians such as stopping the meds and getting her peg out and begging me to take her home all with tears in her eyes.  It is hard to get her to understand especially when she has these big crocodile tears in her eyes that as she is now I can not take care of everything that would need to be done at home and do what is necessary for her.  She seems to understand when I tell her this but this is a recurring conversation.  I just keep telling her it will get better, it will just take time.  This being patient stuff seems to apply no matter what phase we are in.  Seeing her hurt like she is now is almost as bad as when she was critically ill.  At least now I know she will get better and TIGT.  Now we both have to be patient.  I understand that, she can't see it yet since the way she feels now is the only way she can remember feeling since she was hit and that is what is hard.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, she is so much better than 7 weeks but this phase is all she feels and it sucks for her
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 54, by David

Day 18 at Shepherd.  Jan continues to do well although it can at times be difficult to convince her of that.  She still needs assistance with walking and is unstable but she is walking with a walker and a hand holding her just in case.  It does not take much of this for her to tire.  For me to get her up and walk without the therapist I had to be "checked out".  Got this done today.  Not sure it was very smart on my part but my true love for her was tested.  Just before dinner she let me know that she had to go to the bathroom.  They keep the patients locked in for safety.  The tech came in unlocked her and asked if I would take her.  I said no problem.  Well as a good student I had to put her shoes on as told so she would not slip.  She let me know she was in a hurry.  She sat up and had to let the dizziness clear that she frequently has. It was then on.  She stood and started walking with my support but as she was heading towards the toilet with her wobbly unsteady gait and me desperately trying to hold her up and slow her down at the same time she was trying to drop her drawers in mid stride.  She let me know it was going to be close whether or not she makes it.  It was not close, well maybe some went in the toilet.  I will bet very few of you have been peed on by your spouse unless you were in severe pain from man of war attack.  Well now in addition to having been given a pneumothorax, hit in the head with a golf club, snookered into bungie jumping and others, I can now say I have been peed on by my wife and can laugh about it. We both did.  Any way with my new skill obviously unperfected at least now I can keep her moving through the weekend.  Jan was telling me yesterday about feeling inadequate by one of the cognitive drills the speech therapist had her do yesterday.  I talked to the therapist today about that who told me Jan actually did very well.  She wanted to quit when she was almost finished.  This is related to her difficulties when focusing on any one subject, the increased fatigue thinking now demands on her and her post traumatic difficulty with abstract thinking.  Most of the conversations she and I have are near normal.  There are things she has difficulty with that I see such as day and night.  She did not realize after taking a midday nap that she had been up this morning and had therapy sessions.  She has confused 4 in the afternoon with 4 in the morning.  I have to lead her to the right conclusion by pointing out that it is light outside, then lead her to if it is light then it is day and if day then afternoon.  She still jokes about being dain bramaged.  At lunch she was laughing at her self for joking she could drop pieces of chicken in her soup where they could not be seen making it appear that she had eaten more than she did so she would not have to drink her ensure.  She added that figuring this out should give her some points for thinking with the therapists.  A little of the competitiveness in her coming out.  I went over to the apartment to try and get a little sleep since do not get much in Jan's room.  Was not gone more than 2 or 3 hours.  When I came back the first thing Jan said was I am going home tomorrow.  She definitely is not ready and I try to convince her of this letting her know everything that others are doing for her here would have to be done alone by me at home and that would be impossible.  The things that seem to set her off from what she tells me are periods between therapy sessions when she is left sitting in her chair.  Bottom line to help keep her from wanting to go home so badly I will be spending virtually all of my time with her making sure she has little idle time.  I tell her with a smile she is a high maintenance woman.  Who needs sleep ;) but it is worth it to get her the most out of her time here.

It is amazing how a simple careless act  or lack of can create major life changes for others.  Do not ever think "it won't happen to me".  It can.  Do what you can to prevent this from happening to you or anyone else.  Routine and boring at home sure would be nice.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, we both miss being home more than can be explained
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 53, by David

Day 17 at Shepherd.   They provide an apartment for me to stay in a building next door connected by a cross walk. For thirty days that is.  Takes less than 5 minutes door to door for me to get to Jan but I am now sleeping in the room with her on a fold out chair.  It gives her comfort for me to be here and actually makes me feel better too.  I could not do anything for so many weeks but at least now I can give her some security by my presence.  Do not know who this helps more me or her.  Their initial estimate for her being discharged from inpatient therapy was August 9th.  This was before she had the turnaround she has had over the past several days.   In my eyes Jan is progressing well enough that I do not see her being an inpatient that long. Not sure if it will be 2 more weeks to make the 30 days.  She will need outpatient therapy and Shepherd has an outpatient facility that is the best place for that but as bad as Jan wants to go home I do not know if I can convince her to stay here.  Those of you that know Jan well know I will have my hands full if she does not agree to stay and she badly wants to go home- yesterday.  Options are to go straight to Shepherds outpatient program, go home for a short visit and come back or look for something closer to home.  I have been told of a few brain injury outpatient programs in Jackson.  This would be a good location with family in Jackson.  Have not checked into what is available in Tupelo.   All I can say is the terms outpatient treatment, home, getting better are good things to be talking about.

I have had several people ask me about felony charges after the re interviews by the DA.  There will be no felony charges.  We need to keep pushing on getting the laws changed because we are free targets out there as Mississippi law stands.  Is it only me or does it seem that laws tend to protect those that it should persecute and ignore the victims?  Can anyone help me explain to My Little Darlin how she almost lost her life and is trying to get it back over here in Atlanta not to mention hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills and the person responsible has not even gotten anything as much as a traffic ticket?  The irony is if I had done this to this woman do you think my only expense would be a misdemeanor fine?  It seems our laws and government increasingly enables and protects irresponsible behavior.  Just some thoughts about the way it appears to me and yes I do have a bitter taste in my mouth when I think about the injustice that has been shown to my wife.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, she still wants to go home.
David 

My Little Darlin, PT day 52, by David

Day 16 at Shepherd.  The nurses will do variable cycles.  Tonights nurse has been off several days, came tonight and immediately noticed the significant improvement in Jan.  She could not have a normal conversation with her before and Jan was not mobile.  She said it usually takes months to see this kind of change.  Jan is still very emotional with me in the room.  She tells me she is so sad for what I had to go through worrying about her for what that woman did to her.  She says she wants to punch her.  That is My Little Darlin sticking up for me when she was the one run over (twice).  She tells me they are working her hard in therapy.  She is very tired when I see her in the afternoon after therapy.  She says they make her think and that is hard.  She did not think "athletes" had to think ;).  She also cries regularly wanting to go home so baldy.  I let her know she has a goal to work hard towards of getting home.  I let her know that as she is now I can't take care of her at home and we must let the professionals here keep working with her.  She understands but does not like it.   The therapists are working on her cognitive skills which is the thinking part Jan says is so hard.  They also continue to work on her mobility.  She is very unsteady on her feet but I would say doing pretty good for someone who has been in bed for seven weeks.  She did get orthostatic (her blood pressure dropped when she stood up) today.  Her blood pressure has been high through all of this requiring medication but hopefully this is improving meaning the medication needs decreasing to decrease the orthostasis.

Do not forget what got Jan here.  It was a senseless and preventable act both times.  Still can not understand any excuse for the second assault.  While I think they were both criminal acts our state does not.  We have got to stay vigilant about changing these laws.  My wife and anyone else is much more valuable than road kill.  We unfortunately have to convince our lawmakers of this.  I can not prove this was cell phone related but something surely had the woman that did this  distracted and she was on a cell phone when she got out of the car (and back in it?).  The data is there that confirms how dangerous a cell phone is in an auto.  So long as people talk/text and drive there will be other unnecessary assaults on pedestrians and bicyclist not to mention anyone perhaps changing a flat tire or working.  Most from what I have read about over the past couple of weeks are not as lucky as Jan.   Accidents happen but doing this to someone while on a cell is not an accident, it is the result of making a conscious decision and should be punished as such.  Yes I now despise any use of a cell phone while driving with good reason and I hope no one has to come to this epiphany the same way I did.  Unfortunately others will.

All cyclists and runners/pedestrians be bright and be seen.  I may have mentioned being told about seeing someone recently on a recumbent bike and they were very difficult to see.   If you are a recumbent rider then brighten up.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  THEY WILL HELP MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN
BE BRIGHT AND BE SEEN

I Love My Little Darlin, she wants to go home.  She is sleeping as I post this.
David 

My Little Darlin, PT day 51, by David and Jan

Day 15 at Shepherd.  I have asked Jan to tell me what to type tonight.  She says I am awake and alert.   I am getting lots of therapy and it is hard and I especially do not like thinking.  I hate spam and ensure.  I cry everytime you (me/David) come into the room.  But I think I will be home soon.  And that is all.  Oh yea, I am tired of getting shots in my stomach.

She is doing great!  She is ambulating more, eating better but does tell me everyday she wants to go home.

Do not forget why she is here.  We have an obligation to try and keep this from happening to anyone else that likely would not have as good of an outcome that Jan is having.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  TIGT
BRIGHT IS COOL

I Love My Little Darlin !!!
David and Jan 

My Little Darlin, PT day 50, by David

Day 14 at Shepherd.   Got a call early this morning from one of the techs working with Jan.  The tech was calling from her own cell phone because Jan basically berated her into calling me.  Jan got on the phone and asked me to come over there.  The tech had told me Jan was upset because of them finding a "clot" in her arm.  The "clot" is not a concerning finding.  It took me 5 minutes to get there and by that time Jan was distracted with the physical therapists telling her she was going to walk.  All Jan said to me was "take me home".  The therapist then got her to stand up and had her walk with some assistance about 50 feet.  Jan did not like it but she did it.  While she walked the tech, laughing, told me some of the choice language Jan used. The staff is accustom to patients not having any inhibitions at this stage.  It turns out Jan went on to have a great day in therapy including walking with help to the bathroom.  This is a major increase in her mobility.  Jan also told me about all the hard questions they asked her like name three colors.  She was joking about this but did admit this did make her tired.  She is still not completely clear mentally.  For instance was asking me how work was today.  I ask and she knew what city we are in, what city I work in and how long a drive it is.  It still did not quite register why I could not go to work.  She is  eating better.  Usually she must drink a can of ensure with each meal because she does not eat enough. She hates the ensure and says of course "it's nasty".  Tonight she ate well enough that she did not require the ensure.  Kevin and Parisa were here again tonight and it was another great evening.  Jan seemed to enjoy talking with them occasionally joking.  She still has a lot of emotional lability when she and I are alone shedding a lot of tears.  She says it does make her angry knowing what was done to her.  She apologizes (if you can believe it) to me for what I went through.  I have told her everything that happened to her including how critical she was.  It is truly wonderful being able to have a conversation with her and wipe away her tears especially knowing where she was seven weeks ago.  She has come much farther than I could have wished at this point.

 I got a message today some of you may have seen about another bicyclist hit from behind and killed in South Carolina last week.  He was off the road on a wide shoulder and the vehicle  drifted over to hit him.  Sounds like another distracted driver.  This is 3 deaths in the past week that I am aware of.  Jan was truly lucky.  The wheels are in motion to get the 3 foot law amended to make it a felony to severely injure or kill someone for violation.   This incident re-enforces the urgency to get a distracted driver law on the books. It needs to be country wide.   Others are going to pay with their life in the meantime.  Another post showed that tickets/ punishment will decrease the use of cell phones while driving.  The data is there showing it is like drunk driving.  There is no excuse for cell phone use while driving being outlawed.  Bike Walk Mississippi is working on this (distracted driver) and we need to aggressively support this.  I do not know how My Little Darlin survived what happened to her,  I hope what can be done to keep this from happening to anyone else will be done ASAP.  Most are not as lucky (if that word can be used when someone has needlessly slammed into you with a vehicle) as Jan was.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  TIGT
BRIGHT IS COOL

I Love My Little Darlin, she is getting better every day !!!
David

My Little Darlin, PT Week 7

Day 13 at Shepherd.  No therapy today so nothing to compare to physical wise.  This morning when I arrived she was in an open area where all the patients eat having been taken there by her nurse and given her tray.  She had eaten very little.  You know how a small child is when they fall and don't really get hurt but as soon as they know that their patent has seen them they start crying.  Well Jan saw me coming in from about 200 feet away and immediately started crying.  It was I want to go home, I am cold, the nurses are mean and lie and make fun of me and I will do better at home.  Jan did go on and on about how the nursing staff was mean to her.  What she is basing this on likely did happen.  Seems at least part of this is based on when they bath her in the morning.  I have heard some of Jan's end of this from outside the door.  The other morning they were giving her a sponge bath and she was very loudly letting it be known how cold it was and that she did not want it.  She was told that as a physician that she should understand why what was being done was being done.  Jan tells me she told them that she did not like their attitude and I am sure she did say that.   It should be told that immediately before the sponge bath they had tried to get jan to take a shower but she had adamantly refused.  Again this is related her brain injury but this defiance has been improving.  This woe is me went on throughout the morning on and on with the crocodile tears and thrown in some apologies to me for being so much trouble.   I wiped the tears told her she was doing great and that it would be ok.  I also told her the only way she could go home was to work hard with the therapists to get better.  She responded "I don't want to work hard".  I had not warned her but Parisa and Kevin came over to Atlanta for a visit.  It was amazing how Jan lightened up when they walked in.  It was almost like she had never had any head injury.  All afternoon we carried on a normal conversation with a lot of smiles.  Jan was even joking about being dane bramaged.  She did tell them how bad the food was and asked for a cheeseburger and blizzard from Dairy Queen.  I told Kevin and Parisa this would get the same response from the hospital food (which she calls spam and uses the word nasty with every bite).  They went and got her the requested food, she nibbled it and then did not eat it and decided it was nasty but laughed about it.  She was obviously very tired but with Kevin and Parisa joining in to encourage her to work hard with the therapists she was saying she would when we left her this evening.  It was a great afternoon and the way she was today tells me her recovery is accelerating rapidly.    !!!!!!!!! TIGT !!!!!!!!

Please do not ever forget what got her here and she is one of the lucky one that has had this happen.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  TIGT
BRIGHT IS COOL

I Love My Little Darlin, She's back !!!
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 48

Day 12 at Shepherd.  Not much therapy today.  The speech therapist worked with her some this morning.  Jan was given menu choices for several days which the therapist went over with her.  This is a simple task for most of us but is taxing and fatiguing on Jan.  However she was able to concentrate and give her preferred choices for several meal choices.  I came in while they were going over this and Jan was doing very well.  The therapist also asked her several questions to test her short term memory such as what she had for breakfast and she did very well with this.  From what I understand with some brain injuries at least short term memory can be affected and Jan has only recently redeveloped the ability to remember recent events.  She is having no problem that I see with remote memory.   She also did something new this morning.  She spontaneously without thinking used her left hand to take a cup and drink from it.  Remember we have been suspicious of a brachial plexus (complex group of nerves up near the neck and shoulder that provide the motor / muscle and sensory control to the arm) injury to left arm.  She had only showed minimal movement of this extremity for several weeks.  She is also now using utensils to feed herself which I saw for the first time today.  She does have some emotional lability that is not surprising as she is realizing what happened to her and starting to understand the kind of injuries she sustained.  She also keeps apologizing to me of all things for "scaring me" and not wanting to be dependent.  She frequently breaks down and starts crying.  I happily wipe away the tears, hug her and kiss her and reassure her how well she is doing.   She still has moments such as believing she should be able to get out of bed and walk to the restroom.  She still will not eat enough and must be supplemented through the PEG tube.  She does not like sitting up for very long in her chair frequently asking to get back in bed.  The therapist want her up as much as possible.  She still faces physical, cognitive and psychological challenges but overall I am so pleased with how well she is doing.

Please do not ever forget what got her here and she is one of the lucky one that has had this happen.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  TIGT
BRIGHT IS COOL

She does get a pass on the ironman.  It is not as hard as this.

I Love My Little Darlin, I am happy to be wiping away her tears
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 47

Day 11 at Shepherd.    I could not see my little sweetness until 4 pm.  When I came in she was in bed.  She looked up and smiled at me and then we went on to have a conversation.  A week ago she might would focus for 5-10 seconds with no short term memory and extreme agitation.  Today she watched a video of two of our granddaughters and read a card made by the other two.  She listened attentively while I read several get well cards.  Her nurse told me the therapist had her up walking today, only a few steps but still she was walking.  Who knows we may make that marathon in January.  She was completely oriented to place and time.  She still has some paranoia saying nurses are laughing at her and she wants to leave because they are mean to her.  I ask her what they did that was mean?  She said they told her she did not have a choice about the therapy that she had to do it.  I let her know she could blame me for that because I agreed.  I told her she was in training to get out of here and the harder she trained the quicker she could get out of here.  This seemed to register.  The nurse telling me about her walking and I were discussing what Jan said about the mean nurse/ therapist.  I told the nurse with Jan listening that they needed to be pushing Jan hard and Jan stuck her tongue out at me.  She is clearly improving and it makes me smile.  She is also moving her left arm more and more.  I was told yesterday that the projected discharge to outpatient status was August 9.  I can not help but hope if she continues to accelerate her improvement then just maybe it will be sooner.  We will still have outpatient therapy that will be necessary and I will not get too excited for fear of bursting my bubble but I am enjoying the moment :).

I want to thank my State Representative Gary Chism who let me know he would be happy to co-author the 3-foot law amendment being submitted by Representative Margaret Ellis Rogers who I also thank.  Please everyone if you have not contacted your state Representative and Senator then do it and encourage them to support this.  It will not pass unless they know it is important.

If you have not read the post about the Georgia Tech professor who was killed then read it.  Do not have the details but he was hit by a motorists from behind.  Anything that distracts you while driving can lead to something like this.  Some distractions occur without warning and unfortunately but others such as using a cell phone take a conscious decision to do or from now on not do.  We will never prevent all incidences such as this from happening but we can certainly decrease the number by wise choices.

I think anyone who reads this is very conscious of sharing the road philosophy.  We all need to continue to pass that on so that it is at least put into the mind of as many as possible.

If you bike, run or walk then know the rules you are supposed to use and use them.  Do not give us all a black eye.  Don't forget to wear bright colors.  The brighter the better.  Better to be seen and not need it than not to be seen and have needed it.  You will not walk away.  Be wary of what the other guy is doing.  Just because you see them does not mean they see you.

Bike Walk Mississippi has a lot of things in the works that will benefit us all.  Give them your support.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  TIGT
BRIGHT IS COOL

Immediately before I posted this Jan said "so, does this mean I get a pass on the ironman?"

I Love My Little Darlin, today is a very good day
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 46, by David

Day 10 at Shepherd.  Today is a scheduled day for me to watch Jan with the therapists.  I was to get here at 8 am.  The occupational therapists had already started.  They had planned to get her into a shower compatible chair however Jan had other ideas that she loudly expressed. No!  When I came in she was getting a sponge bath and was loudly expressing her displeasure with this.  Our granddaughters frequently stay overnight when we are home.  Jan uses different tactics to get them up in a happy mood for things to go smoothly.  Occasionally when dealing with 4 and 7 year old nothing you can do pleases them and they fight or argue about everything.  This was Jan this morning.  Things she was saying included "stop, just let me be dirty", "I want to go home, I will do better in my own bed", "sign me out AMA" and the occasional attempt to hit someone.  When she starts saying she wants to go home , which she does regularly now, I tell her she will have to work hard with the therapists to get better.  She tells me "I don't want to work hard".  She has developed some recent paranoia saying the nurses are lying to her and that everybody laughs at her.  There may be some perception of truth in the way her mind is interpreting things now.  She still has the hard collar on her neck and the chest brace.  She hates both.  She has been pulling on them for a few days demanding they be taken off.  She knows they should be able to come off at 6 weeks and knows she is past this.  The consulting orthopedist has not given his blessing on removal so the nurses hands are tied and can not remove them.  Jan interprets this as lying to her.  She loudly and frequently expresses her displeasure in her room and in public areas.  This is being addressed.  This is one of those issues that is hard for me to stay back on since I see how uncomfortable they make her (although the discomfort may partly be psychological) and she is right (but still confused) and I have a large amount of experience with compression fractures.  She has figured out how to take the collar off and the way I see it the physical act of doing this is a good skill she has learned.  I do understand that the nurses and therapists can not remove it without the ortho's order.  I do suspect, but could be proven wrong, that taking these off will be a significant distraction being removed and hopefully will aide her progress.  Any way the day did not start off good and I could feel a mild sense of  despair coming on thinking impatiently (you would think I could learn by now) is this a set back from yesterday.

I put this in an odd place to get everyones attention!  If you have not already
**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

Later I watched her with the speech therapist.  The therapist was excellent with her.  As I have stated Jan has shown small steps of improvement but she has a long way to go.  I will ask her questions and she may answer two or three before becoming agitated, sometimes very agitated.  At her current level it takes very little to get her riled up.  It is a lot like a 3 tear old having a temper tantrum and the only thing that can be done is to let them get tired of it.  The therapist was able to calmly get Jan to answer several series of questions.  It took patience and skill and was a pleasure to watch especially since Jan did very well.   This afternoon a small smile was put on Jan's face when the cervical and thoracic Braces were taken off.  Following this the speech therapist had another session with her.  The tasks she was asked to do were simple but for her to accomplish these was huge and she did.  The first thing done, she was asked if she was thirsty, she was so was asked what she wanted and she told her.  This was placed on the table in front of her, she took it and drank it without assistance.  Next 4 playing cards of different suits were laid on the table.  She was then shown five cards one at a time and asked to tell the suit and where to place it.  She got them all.  After a short rest which she wanted since this was taxing on her she did it again with seven and then nine cards getting them all.  This morning she was asked the city, place and month.  She got the city, called this St Pauls and said June.  She was given the correct answers of the ones she missed (Shepherd and July, she got Atlanta).  The therapist asked these again this session.   Jan got Atlanta and July and called this place St Pauls again.   The day seemed to start out rough overall it was a good day.   These small steps are good steps.  Who knows maybe soon she will start feeding herself rather than getting fed like a baby bird.

I did not mention the location but the meeting with the Otibbeha County board of supervisors is in the old courthouse in Starkville.  July 18th, 10:00 am.  Please go give Jim Brown support if you can.

I repeat myself a lot but it is about those things that we do not need to forget.  One thing that I have said maybe only once and that was recently is that those of us who cycle, run, walk etc on public roads have an obligation not only to ourselves but to motorists to make ourselves as visible as possible.  Wear bright clothing.  One of my riding buddies has a fluorescent pink shirt.  He can be seen for miles and stands out from everyone else that rides.  Bright is cool, the brighter the better.  Be aware of your surroundings.  You may see the automobile but they may not see you.  Always assume they do not.  Know the rules for what you are doing.  Do not be one of the few that all of the anti (what ever you are doing) like to write their post about.  If 20 people go by the rules you will not hear anything, if 1 person breaks the rules then they think we all do.  Educate those around you.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  TIGT
BRIGHT IS COOL


 I Love My Little Darlin,
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 45, by David

Day 9 at Shepherd. I just got a giant grin on my face and Jan's nurse Andrea got a tear and smile as we both did a happy dance.  Andrea asked Jan if she would try and take her medication (one pill) by mouth.  Jan agreed.  She took the med that was in a small paper cup (like we have all seen meeds in) with her right hand put the med in her mouth and swallowed it with a sip of water.  It is the first time she has shown this kind of cooperation when asked to do something and showed good fine motor movement to boot.   She still has a long way to go.  This may seem small but in my mind this was a huge step.  Just before this she was telling me (and crying) she wanted to go home.  I told her I do to but we cant yet.  She still does not understand just how far she has to go.  Today she was not able to tell me what city she is in but did tell me she was in a rehab hospital. She also said we told her three days ago she could get the hard collar off her neck and she is close to being right.  She still does not have the ability to walk but is working on it in therapy.  She is clearly increasing the use of her left hand and arm.  I am told she also ate about half of her breakfast and was specifying what on the tray she wanted.  Today is a good day.

To everyone in the Starkville and Oktibeha County area, Jim Brown has a meeting scheduled for 18 July with the Board of Supervisors at 10 am to discuss 3 foot law signage around the county.  There will representatives from Starkville in Motion and the Bulldawg cycling club there and hopefully someone with Bike Walk Mississippi for support.  We feel it would be good to have as many people there as possible.  Understand it is not an open forum.  Jim will be given time to speak.  No one else.  Those that come should only come to show support but only with quiet respect.  ie no rowdiness.   Jim asked that we show the Board that we as cyclists are a respectful bunch.  Please come if you can and give Jim your support.

When this happened to Jan, I started writing this probably for two reasons.  First I needed something that would distract me from the severity of what had happened.  Second I truly did not want what happened to My Little Darlin to have happened in vain.  Everyone reading I think has helped make something good come from this tragedy .  From comments posted many no longer use their cell phones while driving and are much more aware of those out there exposed on the roads.  I believe this has and will help from now on decrease the chance of what happened to Jan or worse from happening to someone else.  Bottom line almost certainly all of you following this ordeal have and will play a part in saving someones life,  maybe even somebody you know.  You will not know for sure but THAT IS A GOOD THING.  Do not ever stop, it only takes a second to change your and anothers life forever.  Others have become more active.  This is another way that lives are being improved and even saved.  Trust me one of the best ways to live a long and healthy life is to do stuff.  Get off the couch.  Life is for doing stuff.   It is all good.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  LIFE IS FOR DOING STUFF
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  IT IS OUR VEHICLE TO GET GOOD THINGS ACCOMPLISHED

 If you have not already
**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

I Love My Little Darlin, a simple thing can be a huge thing, I am smiling
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 44 by David

Day 8 at Shepherd Center.  To give everyone an idea of what is going on with Jan imagine you are me and Jan is the person you are closest to.  Imagine this like when you think about the actual accident, both extreme results (then and now) are consequences  of what was done to her.  Last evening Jan was lying in bed looking at me and spontaneously starts repeating David  help me, help me, help me.  The more she repeats it the louder and more hysterical she gets.  She got a look of fear on her face.  This continues into a sobbing cry with crocodile tears repeating I don't want to die, please don't let me die.  I calmly try to reassure her she is ok but it does not seem to make any difference.  She does not acknowledge hearing me.  This slowly dies down after a few minutes only to start up again with a frantic repeating with the same or something like i'm sick, i'm  throw up sick, I have a head ache or the I'm hot (I take the blanket off) followed immediately by I'm freezing (I put the blanket back).  These are all repeated randomly.  Sometimes she says, all in the same sentence help me David, please somebody help me, I'm hot, I'm freezing.  She will settle down for a few seconds appearing very comfortable and calm only to start up again.  This has been going on for a couple of days but was a bit worse last night.   I know this is part of her evolving confusion now with what appears to me as increasing emotional lability and there is nothing that I do that makes any difference.  There is no doubt she knows I am here and I think that has to help somehow, perhaps giving her some security in her confused world.  The worst part about this is she seems to be truly feeling inconsolable fear in those few moments kind of like she is having a nightmare.  The good thing is they pass fairly quickly.  Today she was started on a new medication that hopefully will help her with this extreme and what appears to be very uncomfortable agitation. This afternoon I read a note from a get well card sent by a friend at home,  she started crying "I want to go home".  She has not had any where the extremes she had last night so I think the meeds are helping, or she is too tired from todays therapy.  She did tell me when I ask her if she were in a hotel or hospital that she was in a hospital.  I ask her why and she told me she had a bike wreck.    I am told me she will not remember this phase of her recovery.  A neuropsychologist told me she has not yet started creating new memories which goes along with not remembering and TIGT.  Although telling me she is in a hospital and that she had a bike wreck suggest to my layman mind she is starting to form some memories (TIGT).  Anyway it makes me feel better to be here by her whether she remembers or not.  Thanks Mark and Robbie (my partners) I could not be here without their support.

Food for thought.  I would like to ask a theological question.  I would like if possible well thought out, wise and or academic but not emotional responses.  I ask this without emotion or anger, only curiosity.  If God is good, then why do things like this happen?  I would like an answer but realize there may not be one.  Do not get me wrong I truly am thankful for all of the prayers and thoughts but as I have told a few something like this will shake your faith.  I think we all question why.

I have had many responses not only of those letting me know these posts about Jan are being followed but that there has been good to come from this,  More and more seem to be noticing cyclists, runners and others on the road and giving plenty of room and encouraging others to do the same.  Many have said they no longer use their cell phones while driving.  Others have told me they have gotten off the couch and started doing something to help themselves.  This is all good.  Thank you all.  Keep it up.

It is truly sad about the two cyclists killed from this area (Atlanta) this weekend.  Keep their families in your prayers.  Their grief has to be overwhelming at this time.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  HELP YOURSELF AND BE AN EXAMPLE
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  IT IS OUR VEHICLE TO GET GOOD THINGS ACCOMPLISHED

 If you have not already
**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

I Love My Little Darlin, she is gonna continue to get better (TIGT)
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 43, by David

1 week at Shepherd Center.  Since I see Jan day to day it can be difficult to see improvements she has made.  Remember the saying bad things happen fast and good things happen slow.  When I reflect on how she was last Monday compared to now there are clear improvements.  Early on I remember thinking all I wanted (at the time) was for her to open her eyes and give me that acknowledging eye contact.  Now she yells or screams any number of unbecoming things directly at me (she talks like a seasoned sailor).  Just goes to show you be careful what you wish for ;).  The yelling, screaming, crying and agitation are part of her evolving change and is an improvement from how she was one week ago (TIGT).  I am confident this will continue to improve.  I have not had her look at me with those loving eyes yet but I know it will come.  Our friend Lecia who used to practice anesthesia with Jan mentioned the laser look that could back down a rhino.  Not that I have ever done anything in the past to warrant such a look (honest) this look has been amplified in her current state and is used often with accompanying verbiage not meant for young ears.  We all just smile and talk calmly to her because she truly can not help it.  Today is July the 4th so no significant therapy has been done.  The Peach Tree Road race was today.  60,000 runners ran past Shepherd.  Several of the patients were taken out to watch and cheer the participants on.  Did not take Jan, she would not have been a happy camper out there.  A fantastic thing was several of the runners would run up on the sidewalk and give the patients high fives and many others would yell out praises for Shepherd.  This is a good place.

I did a television interview with the local NBC station last evening.  Talked to one of the reporters some more today on the phone who called after she read  more of the details of what happened to Jan.  She told me of one professor from Georgia Tech who was hit and killed this weekend while riding his bike in Florida and of another bicyclist hit and killed around 7:00 this morning in Atlanta.  Jan's story will be a small part talking about these incidences on the NBC affiliate news cast tonight.  She did not have any details about the other cyclists accidents other than at least one of them was hit from behind.

I got a Facebook message yesterday from someone who is very aware of non-motorist on the road.  Her note pointed out very well how we as cyclists and runners must do our part to limit our risks.  She described seeing a cyclist with black helmet, black jersey, black shorts and black bicycle who was difficult to see while riding in the shadows.  Not only should we obey the rules of the road but dress in very bright colors.  I would even suggest using a high quality red flashing safety light even in daylight.  Anything that will get a motorist attention should be done for your own safety.  If they notice you instinct should make them avoid you if they are a normal human being.

Please everyone keep up the letter writing to your senators and representatives regarding the amendment to the 3 foot law.  While I suspect getting people to voluntarily not use their cell phone while driving or getting a cell phone law passed banning their use while driving would be almost impossible, at least the threat of  criminal punishment if causing severe harm or death by violating this law might make people a little more aware of the choices made that distract while driving.  It will not happen unless the politicians know it is important to those that elect them.

I have been whining about how hard this is and it does suck but I am giving myself some of my own medicine.  It is time to HTFU!  I will continue to post on My LIttle Darlins progress and if there are any setbacks, which I do not expect, as long as the feedback indicates people are still interested.  What has happened has happened and we must deal with it.  If I whine to any of you then just tell me HTFU ;-).  I will tell those of you that don't know, this is a phrase we use biking, training etc when it gets hard (previous HTFU funny story I posted about Jan).   It stands for Harden The F Up.   I do not mean to offend anyone with this but it is what it is and it fits here and now.  When the time is appropriate I will tell Jan this too.  That will be a good thing.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  HELP YOURSELF AND BE AN EXAMPLE
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  IT IS OUR VEHICLE TO GET GOOD THINGS ACCOMPLISHED


**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

I Love My Little Darlin,
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 42, by David

Day #6 at Shepherd.  Six weeks since this happened.  One of the most noticeable and impressive things I have noticed is the calm and soothing demeanor of all of the staff working on the floor.  To say the least when Jan is up out of bed she is agitated almost all of the time.  This is part of what she is going through and as I have said this will pass.  She like any small child feels she is the center of the universe.  She has no inhibition as to what she will say about how she feels and if you took it personal she would be very offensive.  Every one that interacts with her and is on the receiving end of her verbal abuse reacts in a calm manner.   They all just like any good mother will in a gentle but firm way get her attention by addressing her and telling her what they are going to do and that she must calm herself. She will respond to that in a good way but for only a few seconds and the cycle must be repeated.   When I watch and hear them doing this I even become more secure and relaxed.  I suspect they are all excellent mothers (have not had any male personel,  I do not know if this is by design but would not surprise me if it were and likely is a good thing)  I learn from the staff by their example and this helps me deal with Jan much better. 
There is no change in Jan that I can tell today.  I do periodically ask her questions.   She never wants to answer any of them without putting up resistance.  I asked her today if she knows what happened to her and she said a bike wreck which is all I have told her.  She will not tell me if she knows the city or place.  I suspect she knows but her agitated condition in general makes her very obstinate.  Not that she ever was stubborn before this ;).  She has no scheduled therapy sessions today.  She did eat a little better today but complained the whole time, as usual.  I have done some video so I can show her how she is acting when this is all over.  She likely will not remember it.  Her seeing what I was having to deal with should earn me some husband brownie points.  Perhaps I will not have to wear a puffy shirt again.

For me, do not know if I told this but Shepherd has a small apartment that I can stay in here at the center for 30 days.  I can be in Jan's room in less than 5 minutes.  This gives me a place to get good rest and with a kitchen I have been able to start eating right again.  Also am starting to sweat and breath hard on a regular basis after essentially a 6 week break.  Have run the stairs some and did a run outside this morning.  Jan, Parisa, Kevin and I are signed up for the Disney Marathon in January.  Do not know if Jan can make the race but will not count her out.  More importantly she loves Disney and we got to get her well enough to play there the week following the race.

We are going to get through this, it is going to take time.  I love this little woman and would not have being here helping her get through this any other way.

Do not forget what put us here.  It can happen to anybody and unfortunately likely will again.  Do what you can to lesson that chance for you and anyone else.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  BE AN EXAMPLE
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  IT IS OUR VEHICLE TO GET THINGS DONE


**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

I Love My Little Darlin more than anything, she snores a little when she sleeps which she is doing now (TIGT)
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 41, by David

Day #5 at Shepherd.  Not any significant change today except she may overall be more agitated.  But on reflection even though she seems more easily agitated it does seem you can get her attention and coax her to settle down at least for a few seconds a little easier than when she came in (TIGT).   Jan had therapy this morning but the afternoon off.  I came in around noon, she was done with therapy and in her room still in her wheelchair.. She was an unhappy camper in the world she is currently in.  It is like a small child and thinking of her this ways lets me wrap my mind around how to deal with her,  gently but firmly.  You can not get upset with her, you must be very patient and tolerant, she has no concept of what she is doing at this stage in her recovery.  She was complaining loudly again about how hot she was and adamantly wanted her back brace off.  This is a torso brace sort of like chest armor that gives her fractured thoracic vertebral body support until it heals.  The orthopedist consultant, if I remembered correctly, indicated it could come off at six weeks which is tomorrow.  She only wears it while sitting up but DOES NOT LIKE IT and will let you know with a few choice words she wants it off.  She was also complaining loudly saying that the nurse "lied" to her (the nurse did not, this was part of her confusion and wanting her way like any 4 year old).  She wanted it off and to be back in bed.  She was doing the usual i am hot one second and i am cold the next.  Lunch came.  I got her to reluctantly eat several pieces  of peach but stopped trying when she spit the last piece out.  A very pleasant nursing assistant came in after and persuaded her to drink most of her ensure.  She slept through the afternoon, was gotten out of bed back into her chair and has been very agitated since.  Once again eating very little and screaming loudly for me to get her out of the brace and to "help her" among other things.  These bursts of confused and agitated emotions go on and off like light bulbs.  It is very hard to mentally deal with her like this particularly when she is looking and pleading directly with me to help her.  I am able to stay calm, do what I can which is very little that actually comforts her and reassure her.  In her current mental state there is not much that I do to sooth her.  I did try showing her various photos and asking what they were of.  She had no problem identifying who was in the photos but only after three or four became very re-agitated and told me "do not ask me any more questions".  It is extremely hard seeing someone you love going through this but I have talked to many former brain injury survivors, family members of survivors and staff here and they all say this will get better, as I have heard over and over just be patient.  I have no choice.  I will tell you normal boring routine day to day life would be good.

Thank you all again for following Jan and me through this ordeal.  Knowing that so many care is truly helping us get through this.  While I would give anything to have prevented my Little Darlin from having this done to her and what she is going through now in an attempt to get our life together back, I think with everyones help and persistence there are and will be good things to come from this.  Be sure and slow down a little and smell the roses, enjoy today because you do not know what will happen tomorrow.  Believe me I know.

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  BE AN EXAMPLE
SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI,  IT IS OUR VEHICLE TO GET THINGS DONE


**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

I Love My Little Darlin more than anything, seeing her go through the last 41 days has hurt as bad as you can imagine.
David

My Little Darlin, PT day 40, by David

Day #4 at Shepherd.  40 days since this nightmare started.   I quietly entered her room this morning about 7.  She appeared to be resting.  They had already dressed her for the day.  I kissed her, told her good morning and that I love her. She gave a subtle head nod acknowledging that she heard me.  A normal day would be me and her going through the same actions only I would be leaving her coffee and heading out for work.  The last time we did that normally was 40 days ago.  Neither of us have been home since.  Things are far from normal for us.  I sat down after getting here this morning and remained quiet until she started stirring.  She began by complaining of being very hot.  She did this loudly and often.  She would intermittently settle down and complain of other things such an being sick and follow this literally saying blah, blah, blah.  She would also ramble about Maggie (one of our dogs we lost last year to age), Kevin and other things she has been repeating over the past few days in her confused state.  I can not tell if she is truly sick or hot as her opinion on either and any other complaint changes by the minute.  Sometimes she will say she is hot followed immediately by being cold in the same sentence.  This is all part of her confused state.  She will laugh at some of the things she says or complains about when I question her about them.  I do love it when she smiles but seeing the persistent confusion does get me down.  It is hard seeing her like this I will admit.  I know it will get better but that does not make it any easier now.  Again she would not eat this morning refusing most everything.  They took her away for her therapy sessions without me tagging along.  Came back and saw her later today.  Every time I come back after being away for a while I hope to see one of those ah ha changes for the better in her but I will take any improvement.  To be normal again seems very far away.  She was back in bed resting without agitation.  There were times when her mentation seemed normal.   These were brief as they always are.  This evening she ate very little.  The nurse will always bolus her PEG after seeing that she does not eat.  It is virtually impossible to know what Jan is truly feeling from one moment to the next but after each PEG bolus she consistently but intermittently complains of being sick.  She goes through the same series of complaints over a very few minutes of saying she is hot and wanting her blanket off,  immediately saying she is cold and wanting her blanket on not realizing she is going back and forth that I mentioned earlier.  She will add in there being "throw up" sick and then all of a sudden become calm and relaxed appearing before she starts up again.  I feel somewhat lost around here and am not entirely sure what my role is if any other than sideline support.   Wish there was something I could do to help her but I have to sit back and let the professionals do what they are good at.   I keep hoping this is going to get easier but that has not happened yet especially mentally.  It is very hard seeing her like this.

I hope everyone has sent a letter to their state senator and  representative by now.  If not please do it.  I have talked to several people who have experience with what we are trying to do (adding and or amending laws) and it is not easy.  This is an election year.  If the officials do not hear from you they will not act the way they should.

Accidents happen but this one did not have to.   As with what happened to Jan if there are no consequences to what you do to someone then why worry about changing.  As it is now if you or someone you know is killed or injured by an automobile while on a bicycle, running, walking etc, by Mississippi law it appears to me they are considered nothing more than road kill. My Little Darlin is certainly worth a lot more to me than that, I wish my own state government thought so!

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH,  BE AN EXAMPLE
JOIN AND SUPPORT BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI


**********PLEASE CONTACT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR STATE SENATOR AND REPRESENTATIVE TO SUPPORT THE 3 FOOT LAW AMENDMENT***********

I Love My Little Darlin, what was done to her was stupid, senseless and just plain wrong !!!  Some people should never be allowed behind the wheel of a car.
David