My Little Darlin, PT day 33, by David

Jan is speaking clearly, loudly and a lot.  I am so happy that she is communicating but it is actually extremely stressful now not only for me but for her.  She is speaking and is clearly understood.  Some of what she says is spontaneous and appropriate.  For instance two of her grand daughters came to see her last night.  One of them leaned over and gave her a hug.  Jan responded with "I love you Arianna" in a clear voice.  Most of what she says is difficult to interpret.  She repeats a few words or phrases over and over.   She seems to be agitated most of the time.  Some of the words and phrases she repeats is "I can't do this", "no", "I don't really like it", "ow".  If I ask her who I am or other simple questions she will occasionally give me the appropriate response but more often will say "I don't know" or "I don't want to".  When I talk to her eye to eye she seems to concentrate and I suspect she fully understands but can not express herself.  When she is awake (and she sleeps very little) she  loudly and continuously repeats herself and is constantly moving her right arm all in an agitated way.  I am suspicious this stems from extreme frustration with understanding her situation and lack of sleep.  I have to say this is physically much more difficult for me now because I am getting very little sleep and it is very difficult mentally for me seeing her like this especially sensing how frustrated she is.  The pain intensifies when I think of the possibility she will not improve from here.  I have to keep telling myself be patient she will improve as she has been,  slowly.

The only invasive device she has left is her tracheostomy but it is capped off and a small IV  in her right arm.  The tracheostomy will be removed in the near future.  The only question on when we go to Shepherd center is whether the orthopedist can give her full weight bearing clearance on her lower extremities.  We want her to be allowed this before she goes to get the full benefit at Shepherd that insurance allows and room availability which is a day to day thing.

The more I think about it the more I think DA Forrest Allgood is wrong about the second act that was heinously done to my wife "driver of V1 exited the vehicle while talking on the phone and observed the victim.  D1 then reentered her vehicle and ran the cyclist over again before being forced from her vehicle by witnesses."  I suspect his ego would not let him change what he has decided but I do not know the man.  I have spoken with him by phone (I will say I was never given the courtesy of a call, I had to call him after his decision)  as has my stepson. He tended to speak in a condescending way to both of us although we are both highly educated.  I think a jury should have decided this womans guilt or innocence but he is not allowing that.  He did tell me as a voter I am in charge.  He was referring to the laws of the state and the state government officials, but he is also an elected official and up for reelection this year.  If the woman who did this to Jan will not be made accountable for her actions by Mr Allgood then perhaps we can make him accountable for his.  We can decide.

I talked yesterday about organization and focusing our energy.  I simply can not do it.  I keep getting tons of legal advice and input.  I only have time for My Little Darlin and am running on fumes as it is.  I should have thought of this before but BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI is already in place as our advocacy group.  Please everyone go to their website, join and actively participate.  BWM has the organization and know how to get the things done effectively and to channel all of our efforts but they need all of our help.  Every who has said they want to help this is how!

SHARE THE ROAD, IT'S A LIFE
PUT THE !%@$# CELL PHONE DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY
GET OFF THE COUCH
JOIN AND BECOME ACTIVE IN BIKE WALK MISSISSIPPI

I Love My Little Darlin,  this still hurts awful bad and this is hard
David