Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Little Darlin, PT day 31 by David

Jan remains aphasic.  She will not speak.  She hears because she will open her eyes and look at me when I speak to her.  I can not tell what is going on in her mind.  There is active movement of her right arm and hand.  She will put her hand on her face and rub it ,  she will also put her hand to her side and try to scratch the top on the sheet with purpose.   These are tiny improvements. I ask her repeatedly to reach up and touch my hand with hers in addition to other smaller tasks but she still will not follow commands.  She does squeeze my hand in response to me squeezing hers.  There is minimal movement of the left upper extremity.  She goes squeeze her thumb slightly.  She will not give any facial expression other than what I perceive as frustration and or depression.  I know her recovery is going to be slow but seeing My Little Darlin like this is hard.  Do not know if these emotional expressions of hers are real but she has a right for them to be.  The fever she was having seems to have abated.  She is breathing very well on the t-tube and will start working towards getting rid of her tracheostomy.

She had a back brace brought in yesterday.  They say they will put it on her today.  Why did they not put it on and sit her up yesterday?  Simple lack of actions like this make me feel like we are wasting time where we are now (step down unit) and that she needs to be at a rehab center asap.  On the other side (as a physician) you are so busy you do not get the sense of how slow it seems things move on this side.  More learning experience for me and more patience needed.  The representative for Shepherd is out of town and yesterday I was told she would not be here until Friday.  My anxiety rises everyday she sits in this room without aggressive therapy.  Late yesterday I sent emails  to Shepherd and to TIRR in Houston.  The representative for Shepherd called me last night and will be here Thursday.  She has begun the process.  Hopefully we can be moved by Friday.  Can not go soon enough for me.  In the meantime I talk to Jan a lot, I read to her, I show her photos mostly of her granddaughters but also several others.  She does look at these.  I can not tell if she recognizes.  I kiss her and tell her I love her a lot.

I still have not heard back from the Mississippi Highway Patrol or the District Attorney?   I am not an attorney but in my simple mind this is a no brainer of right and wrong.  What do I know I have been in a hospital with my wife for the past month and will not be getting out of one any time soon.  I have been very patient with this, a simple phone call from someone who knows as to the explanation of why this investigation is taking so long would be nice.  Perhaps this was not as serious of an incident as I thought it was?  Yes you do detect a bit of sarcasm and frustration!  I have a lot of frustration on several points all secondary to what was done to My Little Darlin and we do not have the luxury to ignore these.

And now my repetitive daily sermon.  There are positive changes happening and others that still need to happen.  There seems to be more awareness at least locally.  A friend of mine told me she rode her bike with trepidation the other day on MS50, the same road Jan was hit on.  She said every motorist was very courteous.  They all would wait until oncoming traffic cleared then moved entirely into the other lane to pass (TIGT).  Share the road signs are going up.  Continue to spread the SHARE THE ROAD MESSAGE.  One surprising outcome that pleases me very much,  I have been told the love I have expressed for my solemate Jan has made others think.  None of us know if we are going to be here tomorrow.  Appreciate every moment you have today with those you love.  What happened to Jan or something similarly tragic could happen to you or them without warning.   I have had many let me know they no longer use the cell phone while driving (TIVGT).  Cell phone use while driving is deadly.  It is equivalent to drunk driving or worse.  There is nothing that can be communicated on that phone while driving that is worth harming or killing someone or being harmed or killed.  If you are a normal person it will ruin both lives.  Cell phone use while driving should be outlawed. NO BRAINER.  It is in my opinion and needs to be law, it there should be criminal charges if you harm someone  driving while using a cell phone.  You should go to jail for a long time for this!  I have been getting many posts about people getting off the couch (TIGT).  The more of us that are active the more visible we are.  Also the more of us that are active encourages even more to do the same.  The long term health benefits are phenomenal.  Jan and I are in our 50's and can(could) and do(did) play with people in their 20's.  Most our age have a hard time getting off the couch.   With some effort that can change.   I could only dream of a healthy society that did not need me as a physician but only as a bicycle mechanic (TIGT).

Thank you for reading these posts, I do read all of your comments


I love My Little Darlin,  I hurt every moment for what she is having to go through

1 comment:

  1. I saw a link to your postings on facebook. I wish the best for you and your wife. I can't imagine the immense pain and frustration for both of you. Rejoice in the baby steps toward her recovery. Even if she can't express herself at this point, your love and presence will help bring her through this. Stay strong and keep your head up.
    All the best,