Thursday, July 21, 2011

My Little Darlin, PT day 59, by David

Day 23 at Shepherd.  Jan continues to do well.  The dizziness with nausea is still doing pretty good since yesterday morning's bad episode.  This morning she walked to the central area for breakfast.  Her walking is limited and she is too unsteady to walk without someone's hand on a support belt incase she falls but she is still doing it on her own power.  I like to pick on her about her grandma shuffle walk.  She can laugh at herself about it.  She says this is especially funny when we do the team toilet dash.  I still get a kick (and start getting nervous for my shoes) when she starts trying to drop those drawers before she reaches the toilet.  When she says she has gotta go she means it.  She had several therapy sessions and during a 30 minute break had me get her up early soother was no wasted time for her next session.  She was supposed to be taken to the grocery store today as part of her therapy.  I was waiting in the room when she came rolling in in her wheel chair crying her little eyes out.  The grocery store thing did not go well.  They were taking several patients.  It was hot.  Jan was loaded first and she with her wheel chair were locked in place.  The heat and anxiety was a bit much for her and she could not do it making them get her out.  She was brought back to the floor but had some difficulty with finding the room on her on which added to her anxiety.  We talked with the therapist and will try again but this time will do it in my vehicle and I will help.  I will have the a/c going full blast too.  I met with her attending today and her case manager.  She will be discharged from inpatient setting on tuesday.  Shepherd has an intense outpatient program called pathways.  Jan and I would stay in the same housing I have been in here at the center.  The pathways center is a few miles from here and I would drive Jan there each day during the week.  We can come home on weekends.  There would be five hours of therapy each day.  I am unaware of anything similar in Mississippi.  There are outpatient centers that could offer therapy but I am not aware of any that are to this extent.  The case manager will confirm this.  I do want Jan to have the best she can get.   This would likely be the very best option for Jan's maximal recovery.  Jan is considering this but i am not sure if she will go for it.    I do not think she is completely aware of what her limitations are at this point but her physician was impressed with the insight Jan had when I told her that Jan said she did feel she needed more therapy.  She told me tonight that if she gets all this therapy we are talking about that everybody back home will expect her to be normal.  She says she is a goob right now.  I think she is beautiful.  There are other issues besides what Jan is going through that I can not ignore.  This is life.  I suspect similar thoughts must go through others minds who are or have been in a similar situation.  Costs for one.  This whole ordeal is very expensive (but the results have been priceless).  Insurance will not cover it all.  Many have commented about the liability of the person that did this.  If they have nothing then they have no liability in this state / country.  You can not get blood from a turnip.  Jan and I have worked hard all of our lives and have been fortunate.  We will survive this financially.  I do not know how most are able to afford the expense of something like this and there are many here who are much worse than Jan(we are unbelievably fortunate in this regard).  We have been away from home for a long time and miss it.  Jan has made no bones about it she wants to go home(I do too but will do what is necessary for Jan).  I have two wonderful partners that have worked their ass off covering me and let me know being here with Jan is where I need to be.  I will forever be grateful to them.  My conscience bothers me tremendously the longer I am away.  So long as I can work I know I can take care of Jan, but I also need to be with her to take care of her (and she needs me now more than ever).  What a conundrum.   Nothing about any of this has been easy but seeing my little darlin improve daily makes it tolerable.  We are going to make it, this phase is almost over.  Everyday we are one day closer to normal (TIGT).

Thank you all.  Drivers watch for bikers and pedestrians.   Bikers and pedestrians watch for drivers.  All should know the rules and abide by them.  Be patient with each other.  No matter who is at fault if someone is severely injured or killed it drastically affects many and in a very bad way.   Everyone please do whatever you can to not let something like this happen.  Life is for doing stuff but not this.


I Love My Little Darlin, 

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