Tuesday, May 31, 2011

PT Day 9, by David

My Little Darlin, PT 9

It is almost 1:00 am.  I am alone and this is when I start thinking the worst.  Remember, this was "done to" Jan!  It is still being investigated.   I have given a lot of thought regarding how this could happen to Jan or anybody in a similar situation.  Jan and Kim were on a  straight, flat stretch of wide open road.  It was slightly overcast.  They were heading east so if there was any sun coming through it was behind them which improves their already excellent visibility.  I know how good the visibility was since I had already ridden 50 miles that morning and I have ridden that same route many times. They were wearing bright colored clothing as usual.  I am told there was no oncoming traffic in the opposite lane.  It was impossible for them to not have been seen.   I have heard Jan was hit full force squarely from behind and carried with the car for a long distance.  I was told she rolled off the hood to the ground unconscious when it finally stopped.  The person that hit her I am told showed no remorse at the time and I am told, in an accusing way, asked why they were in the middle of the road.  Jan and Kim were in their appropriate lane.  There were many witnesses, I have not spoken to them all.  It is still under investigation.  I do look forward to the complete investigative report from the time of impact until Jan was taken away by ambulance.   I am told there are things that occurred that will be very upsetting.  I have not heard from the person that hit her since the accident.  I have no idea if they feel any remorse or not for this.  If I had done this to someone I would be suicidal.

  Jan is lying in a hospital bed helpless, fighting for her life and if she survives this I have no idea how much if any of my old Jan I will still have. The extremes (late after the 9 o'clock visit to before the 6 o'clock visit) of the day are the hardest.  It is when I am by myself and I think about Jan with me before this happened,  the instant when she was going through the trauma and her lying in the CCU bed now.  I think about just how bad this was last sunday and I still do not know how she survived it.  I occasionally imagine she did not survive but very quickly put that out of my mind.  This is all extremely painful but that thought is absolutely unbearable.   I am still scared.  She remains in critical condition but most of the steps she has taken since the event have been forwards. At the moment you see very little signs of trauma on her face.  Since they got the endotracheal tube out (has a tracheostomy now) lying there she looks like an angel sleeping peacefully.  The rest of her body is a different story.   I kiss her and tell her I love her often.  I tell her she has an awful lot of friends pulling for her to get better.  We have music playing from her ipod.  The drawings from her granddaughters are taped up in the room.  Another drawing sent to her by a little girl that she help pick out a bicycle is taped up.  All of the cards well wishers have sent in are on a cork board.  Sweet Parisa, that is Parisa with her on her current Facebook page photo, got her one of those (I don't know the correct name of it) picture frames that you download photos and it continuously scrolls through them.  There are photos of her four granddaughters, sons, us on trips, friends and many more.

This morning no set backs (TIGT).  She remains stable on sedatives, pain meds and paralytic.  She is on multiple antibiotics.  Her temperature remains reasonably controlled.  She still has an intracranial pressure(ICP) monitor.  Her ICP is good. Her central intravenous line was changed out yesterday.   The tracheostomy is doing well.  Her blood oxygen saturation is good and the oxygen concentration she is getting is down to 60% (TIGT).  They started slow tube feedings yesterday.  Hopefully this will jump start her GI tract (TIGT), this will be a better way to give her nutrition than intravenously.  Baby steps I keep telling myself but I desperately want to see big steps.  I keep hoping for that, it will come (I pray) but may be later rather than sooner.  It is going to be a long road but at least we do have a road.

Please do not forget about what happened to this beautiful vibrant woman, my Little Darlin.  It did not have to happen. 

Thank you all for your kindness, concern, prayers and for slowing down and moving over for anyone biking, running, walking, checking their mail, working, changing a tire etc,
Pass it on.


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